he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
