dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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