I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
