just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
