I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
