Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
