Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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