oh god the rape fog is back!
I CAN MOONWALK!
Farmville is her only friend.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Randomize
