Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
