i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
