Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
