hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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