Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
