just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
