please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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