He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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