we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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