Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
