It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i drank out of a bidet.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The air was thick with penises
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
