i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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