Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
