jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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