my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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