Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize