maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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