with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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