Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
