problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
