You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
