Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
