Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
