What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize