Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize