FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
