so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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