so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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