He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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