Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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