Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
