im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
