Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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