Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
