i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
