ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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