Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.