I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out