Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?