I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening