I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club