I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?