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Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
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