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Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
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