I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee