Texts From Last Night

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(404): View more from Georgia

She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.

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(404): She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves. http://tfl.nu/q9n8

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

is drinking for groundhog day legit?

(1-484): View more from Pennsylvania

well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes

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(484): is drinking for groundhog day legit? (1-484): well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes http://tfl.nu/k04d

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters

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(405): I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters http://tfl.nu/onkh

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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(262): Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile. http://tfl.nu/y44t

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(512): View more from Texas

Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

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(512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w

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(513): View more from Ohio

How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.

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(513): How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region? (1-513): The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well. http://tfl.nu/bwog

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(708): View more from Illinois

High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.

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(708): High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay. http://tfl.nu/m4rp

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(516): View more from New York

Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes

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(516): Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes http://tfl.nu/edsk

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(314): View more from Missouri

Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.

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(314): Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest. http://tfl.nu/8ll2

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(916): View more from California

We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.

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(916): We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame. http://tfl.nu/u712

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(651): View more from Minnesota

A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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(651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp

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(925): View more from California

we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself

(707): View more from California

dude you teach first grade wtf

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(925): we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself (707): dude you teach first grade wtf http://tfl.nu/gqyp

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(519): View more from Ontario

I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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(519): I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA". http://tfl.nu/ak7j

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(914): View more from New York

I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.

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(914): I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box. http://tfl.nu/rmin

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(410): View more from Maryland

sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well

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(410): sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well http://tfl.nu/vcbo

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