*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.