my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.