Texts From Last Night

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism

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(651): Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism http://tfl.nu/8f4x

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(302): View more from Delaware

I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.

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(302): I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years. http://tfl.nu/sw0p

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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(732): You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name. http://tfl.nu/cvf5

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(330): View more from Ohio

nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.

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(330): nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks. http://tfl.nu/s7xn

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?

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(440): Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college? http://tfl.nu/er5p

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(760): View more from California

Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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(760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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(608): Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard. http://tfl.nu/diwn

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity

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(610): Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity http://tfl.nu/heka

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(214): View more from Texas

okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you

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(214): okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you http://tfl.nu/uhqk

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You tried to poop in the sink last night.

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(856): You tried to poop in the sink last night. http://tfl.nu/6e7d

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(519): View more from Ontario

Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.

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(519): Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation. http://tfl.nu/lz4o

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(443): View more from Maryland

she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.

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(443): she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs. http://tfl.nu/nz73

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(773): View more from Illinois

I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.

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(773): I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do. http://tfl.nu/ja9q

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(+48): View more from Poland

there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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(+48): there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover http://tfl.nu/ynqc

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(416): View more from Toronto

He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

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(416): He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n http://tfl.nu/pe4m

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