Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN

  • TFLN Blog
  • Log In / Sign Up

Texts From Last Night

  • Nights:
  • Best
  • Worst
  • Random
  • About
  • Store
  • Today
  • Week
  • Month
  • All Time
  • Today
  • Week
  • Month
  • All Time
  • Favorite

    (570): View more from Pennsylvania

    I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (83) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (425): View more from Washington

    So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (9) Good night (412) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (810): View more from Michigan

    Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (1) Good night (176) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (570): View more from Pennsylvania

    Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (84) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (601): View more from Mississippi

    Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?

    (1-601): View more from Mississippi

    I'm coming right back.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (110) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (580): View more from Oklahoma

    Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (3) Good night (80) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (405): View more from Oklahoma

    Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (1) Good night (330) Bad night (61) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (415): View more from California

    Fuck yeah GAYNESS

    (415): View more from California

    *explodes into glitter*

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (117)
  • Favorite

    (661): View more from California

    Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (80) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (319): View more from Iowa

    She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (1) Good night (300) Bad night (85) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (320): View more from Minnesota

    For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.

    (1-320): View more from Minnesota

    The apocalypse has arrived.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (146) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (647): View more from Ontario

    Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (93)
  • Favorite

    (510): View more from California

    Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (2) Good night (270) Bad night (88) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (815): View more from Illinois

    Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (1) Good night (190) Bad night (144) Order T-Shirt
  • Favorite

    (616): View more from Michigan

    I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.

    Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

    Replies (8) Good night (403) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
Go
  • Submit
  • Favorites
  • Text Us
  • Most Active Areacodes
  • Flickr
  • Twitter
  • (303): Colorado
  • (248): Michigan
  • (203): Connecticut
  • (703): Virginia
  • (310): California
  • (412): Pennsylvania
  • (630): Illinois
  • (847): Illinois
  • (610): Pennsylvania
  • (512): Texas
  • (617): Massachusetts
  • (330): Ohio
A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr A photo on Flickr
  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

Follow @tfln

View texts from the Archive
  • February, 2009
  • March, 2009
  • April, 2009
  • May, 2009
  • June, 2009
  • July, 2009
  • August, 2009
  • September, 2009
  • October, 2009
  • November, 2009
  • December, 2009
  • January, 2010
  • February, 2010
  • March, 2010
  • April, 2010
  • May, 2010
  • June, 2010
  • July, 2010
  • August, 2010
  • September, 2010
  • October, 2010
  • November, 2010
  • December, 2010
  • January, 2011
  • February, 2011
  • March, 2011
  • April, 2011
  • May, 2011
  • June, 2011
  • July, 2011
  • August, 2011
  • September, 2011
  • October, 2011
  • November, 2011
  • December, 2011
  • January, 2012
  • February, 2012
  • March, 2012
  • April, 2012
  • May, 2012
  • June, 2012
  • July, 2012
  • August, 2012
  • September, 2012
  • October, 2012
  • November, 2012
  • December, 2012
  • January, 2013
  • February, 2013
  • March, 2013
  • April, 2013
  • May, 2013
  • June, 2013

Find Us On:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Stumbleupon
  • Digg
  • Reddit
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • 12
  • … 3385
  • Next Page
Go
Site design by: MetaLab
  • Home
  • Best Nights
  • Worst Nights
  • Random
  • About
  • Store
  • Areacodes
  • Contact
  • Terms

© 2009-2012 Texts From Last Night Inc.