I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.