I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal