Texts From Last Night

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(319): View more from Iowa

I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.

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(319): I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you. http://tfl.nu/2phb

Replies (6) Good night (431) Bad night (118) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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(303): Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!" http://tfl.nu/4c9h

Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew

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(716): I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew http://tfl.nu/lady

Replies (4) Good night (786) Bad night (134)
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(954): View more from Florida

Sadly, she's the porn star that got away

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(954): Sadly, she's the porn star that got away http://tfl.nu/sl2s

Replies (3) Good night (210) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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(44): View more from United Kingdom

Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...

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(44): Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms... http://tfl.nu/mf8r

Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt
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(660): View more from Missouri

I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.

(1-660): View more from Missouri

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER

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(660): I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before. (1-660): THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER http://tfl.nu/zmd9

Replies (6) Good night (628) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!

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(716): YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!! http://tfl.nu/4ih5

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.

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(601): I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome. http://tfl.nu/2jlt

Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.

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(570): No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong. http://tfl.nu/gy5i

Replies (2) Good night (155) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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(309): View more from Illinois

Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.

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(309): Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off. http://tfl.nu/ojpk

Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.

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(480): It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/0fqk

Replies (3) Good night (523) Bad night (119)
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(714): View more from California

I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina

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(714): I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina http://tfl.nu/xr6a

Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (121) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.

(303): View more from Colorado

This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.

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(720): Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag. (303): This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two. http://tfl.nu/02n3

Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (128)
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(408): View more from California

Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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(408): Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain http://tfl.nu/bezg

Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.

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(425): I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it. http://tfl.nu/yofk

Replies (1) Good night (693) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt

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