Texts From Last Night

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(416): View more from Toronto

He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

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(416): He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n http://tfl.nu/pe4m

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(620): View more from Kansas

Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?

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(620): Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night? http://tfl.nu/n9fn

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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(318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"

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(508): Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic" http://tfl.nu/1wpy

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(818): View more from California

i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign

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(818): i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign http://tfl.nu/0lhe

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?

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(603): Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right? http://tfl.nu/7voc

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(303): View more from Colorado

You made eat vitamins until I threw up

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(303): You made eat vitamins until I threw up http://tfl.nu/o1t5

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(317): View more from Indiana

He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.

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(317): He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/3k3l

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(203): View more from Connecticut

our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.

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(203): our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation. http://tfl.nu/5n6h

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

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(603): I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months. http://tfl.nu/isje

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(703): View more from Virginia

This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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(703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

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(405): It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you. http://tfl.nu/abkv

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(325): View more from Texas

The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

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(325): The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am http://tfl.nu/kqzx

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(415): View more from California

i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.

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(415): i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me. http://tfl.nu/4nn8

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(904): View more from Florida

I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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(904): I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck. http://tfl.nu/gj91

Replies (22) Good night (826) Bad night (3611) Order T-Shirt

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