You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
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