I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.