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    (937): View more from Ohio

    pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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    Replies (17) Good night (6478) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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    (336): View more from North Carolina

    i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance

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    Replies (10) Good night (4863) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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    (773): View more from Illinois

    well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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    Replies (19) Good night (4453) Bad night (468)
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    (512): View more from Texas

    We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

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    Replies (40) Good night (932) Bad night (4287) Order T-Shirt
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    (918): View more from Oklahoma

    People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook

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    Replies (11) Good night (3132) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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    (513): View more from Ohio

    Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.

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    Replies (12) Good night (2970) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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    (559): View more from California

    You realize it's finals week?

    (408): View more from California

    Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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    Replies (19) Good night (4769) Bad night (316)
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    (414): View more from Wisconsin

    My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.

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    Replies (10) Good night (3189) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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    (765): View more from Indiana

    She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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    Replies (19) Good night (4761) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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    (732): View more from New Jersey

    I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?

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    Replies (8) Good night (2881) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
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    (804): View more from Virginia

    I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store

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    Replies (9) Good night (5870) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt
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    (606): View more from Kentucky

    how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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    Replies (19) Good night (569) Bad night (3681) Order T-Shirt
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    (914): View more from New York

    i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die

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    Replies (11) Good night (3197) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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    (219): View more from Indiana

    So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.

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    Replies (9) Good night (3171) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt
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    (330): View more from Ohio

    I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?

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    Replies (14) Good night (3520) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  • (706): That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night. http://tfl.nu/book
  • (410): She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else. http://tfl.nu/book
  • (586): Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
  • (902): Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/book
  • (641): Went to the career fair. handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree. Top that.
  • #TextsIHate (978): please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"

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