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I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
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