Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.