Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?