i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?