well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
