i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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