My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.