Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.