You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
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She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere