His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.