why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize