My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job