Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.